I was unprepared for this week’s post. I didn’t check the schedule and I thought I remembered it was “Out.” Last night I spent an hour or so trying to get a good shot of the Harvest Moon coming out from behind the trees in our yard. No dice. I decided to skip Theme Thursday this week because, frankly, my photography has pretty much gone down the tubes since our move home and it’s really starting to piss me off.
Then this morning I saw Cari’s post and realized I had the wrong week. I hurriedly checked my camera cards for any relevant photos. Again, no dice. I thought about taking a walk with the kids and trying to shoot the corner store down the block… but I don’t have any room left on either of my camera cards. And my computer broke this week, so I can’t download the photos on them.
At the veeerrrrryyy end of skimming my cards, I came across the last few shots from my DMZ tour in June (here is Part 1, Part 1.5 and Part 2). I’ve yet to finish out the series because I’m not exactly sure how to tie it up. It’s emotional for me, and I’ve been back in California for over 3 months now. But, you know, I’ve got the photos downloaded and stuff, so whenever I get to it, I get to it. [smacks forehead] In fact, I’ve been deleting the DMZ photos slowly as I needed space on the card because, hey, they’re on the computer hard drive. Right? RIGHT? [cackling maniacally]
And then I remembered what my brother said when he picked up the laptop to be fixed last night.
“Honestly, the fact that it [the laptop] was on when it fell… it’s not good news for the hard drive.” The hard drive. The place where all my “memories” are stored. All my photos that I haven’t backed up for the last 9 months. Foolish, foolish, foolish.
The idea that these photos are lost is killing me. I can’t even put it into words, how worried I am, and how angry I am with myself for not taking the time to put them on our external hard drive.
So I’m going to take advantage of your pity and reeeeeeally turn the Theme Thursday on its head with one of the DMZ photos I have “stored” on my camera card.
This is a fence outside the border of the DMZ where South Korean (and apparently Chinese, according to the script) families leave messages for their loved ones in North Korea. There is no way to retrieve the messages of course, but the sight of this colorful fence, maybe 50 feet long and 10 feet tall, with ribbons tied so thickly you could dig your fingers into it and hold on, fluttering softly in the wind coming off the river… it’s a sign of hope.
So maybe there is hope for me, too. The blog brings me hope, I suppose, because at least I have the photos I’ve shared here. Not all my memories are lost.
Sorry for the melancholic post, friends. Visit Cari et al for more light-hearted takes on “Stores.” And for the love of all that is beautiful and memorable, back up your photos.