An Early Advent


The Glory
by Madeleine L’Engle

Without any rhyme
without any reason
my heart lifts to light
in this bleak season

Believer and wanderer
caught by salvation
stumbler and blunderer
into Creation

In this cold blight
where marrow is frozen
it is God’s time
my heart has chosen

In paradox and story
parable and laughter
find I the glory
here in hereafter

I’m struggling, but not with anything identifiable.  It’s more that there is an intangible sense of expectancy*, of events yet to unfold.

My life is so full, so rich.  It’s a life chock full of loud and boisterous children, of a husband who hugs me and makes me laugh every single day, of activities that take us out into the world and schooling that keeps us home.  It’s a life of never-enough-time but always-enough-grace.

It’s a life I love, as a whole.  There are certain parts of it (housekeeping, sibling conflicts) that I would pick out if I could, but picking those out would mean unraveling some of the fabric of my life.  And that’s not a fabric I mess with.

So I wait.  I wrestle.  I feel a force, The Force, cleansing me from within, making room for something.  Growth, change,  happiness, heartache.  Whatever it is, it’s going to take a lot of space.  Having already cleared out my ability to write with any clarity or coherence, it’s thereby working on my pride and vanity.  What’s left is a pregnant* pause on this here blog, and within my mind.

It’s fitting that Advent is coming soon; it’s a time as laden with anticipation as I am now.  Perhaps I just began my emotional Advent a couple weeks early.  Either way, I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me and for us.  Whatever it is, it’s sure to be a doozy.

So please be patient with my sporadic writing, my moody thoughtfulness.  I’ll be back to snark and sass in no time, I’m sure.

*the words pregnant and expectant are used in their figurative form only.  There is no Darr baby on the way.  🙂


  1. The enuis. I know of what you speak. Sporadic away my friend.
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  2. I love whatever you write whenever you write it, enjoy each season of this short life!
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  3. Oh, you funny lady!