Pain as a gift: The Husband guest posts

You know my post from yesterday?  Which I mentioned that I had been praying and thinking about it for a week?  I’d also been talking to Kevin (my husband) about it as well.  After he read the post last night he reminded me of the many things we had discussed over the course of the week.  I casually mentioned he might want to write a guest post, but knowing how private he is, didn’t really think he’d take me up on it.  Next thing, I knew, he was clicking away on the computer and 20 minutes later he had come up with this.

If I’m not careful, he might put me out of a job.

Please welcome my handsome and wise partner in crime, Kevin:


My thoughts about dealing with the pain of the passion and death of Jesus Christ…

Thinking about how much horrific pain and humiliation was inflicted upon Jesus as he was beaten, mocked, and nailed to the cross can really depress us, make us feel hopeless and pretty much make us want to throw up and scream.  How are we supposed to deal with that and carry around those images and that guilt and still feel joy and peace in our faith?

I’m no scholar and am really a fledgling in my mature faith, but, in my heart the Holy Spirit moves me to think that JESUS CHANGED EVERYTHING.  He changed the despicable image of the cross from one of death and hopelessness to one of hope and strength.  It is unimaginable that it could happen, but through the awful pain of his passion and death, he gave us a gift.  Ultimately, by taking on death head on, he gave us the gift of forgiveness that we might be able to move past those sins that we do over and over again.  Each time I receive that forgiveness, I am more free to stop obsessing about my own guilt and unworthiness and think about how I can help others…which is the true key to happiness.  I am able to think about how I can make myself worthy of eternal life in heaven instead of how I am going to hide, minimize or rationalize those things that I do that hurt my soul and separate me from God.

We could think about his pain and death as something disgusting, shameful and fearful.  But Jesus really did change everything.  Jesus turned his pain into a gift of forgiveness, salvation and eternal life and in turn allows us to think about the suffering in our own lives in a new way.  Pain that is not transformed into a gift is transmitted into the world.  So, through the His passion and death, we can ask God for the grace to connect our suffering to Jesus’ suffering and turn it into a gift and blessing as He did.

When we feel like throwing up our hands and bitterly weeping over the unfathomable atrocity of the pain inflicted upon Jesus, we can understand what the women of Jerusalem were feeling as they wept along side the road where Jesus carried his cross.  But when Jesus spoke to them, he changed everything.  He told them not to weep for him, but to weep for their own sinfulness and lack of faith.  When we break down in sorrow over his passion and death, we are like those women to whom Jesus spoke.  Jesus is telling us that we can’t let our sorrow end there.  We must turn our weakness and sinfulness over the God, asking for forgiveness, and in turn finding hope and strength to rise with Jesus and work to spread His love and peace to our family, friends, co-workers, and all we meet.

Ultimately, for me, when I try to figure out how I can deal with the depression that naturally comes when facing the immense and senseless pain Jesus endured, the best thing I can do is turn to Mary, our mother of sorrows.  She suffered along with Jesus as he was tortured, humiliated and put to death.  But she had such deep faith, that, although in such tremendous pain and sorrow, she walked along with Jesus; keeping faith in her son that this had to be.  She may not have fully understood why it had to be so intense, but she knew it had to be.  So she walked with him silently crying and praying and hoping.  I think that is what we are called to do at this time…silently, faithfully walk with Jesus as we cry and pray; asking God to transform us into the holy people he calls us to be.

Could God have chosen to conquer death and achieve salvation for the world through less bloody and gut-wrenching means?  I imagine so.  In His omnipotence, I imagine He could have washed away the sin of the world with one single tear.  And so, a lot of mystery still remains.  But if we can ask God to give us the grace to turn our pain into a gift, to honestly seek His forgiveness and to give us the courage to have the deep faith of Mary, we can begin to understand the mysteries of our faith and how Jesus changed everything.

Lord, give me the grace to turn to you in my weakness. When my heart breaks over senseless suffering, help me to always hope, just as Mary did, in your power to change everything.  Amen.

Kevin's Prayer



  1. I found myself openly weep at mass on Good Friday and, than later Friday evening, watching the suffering and horrific crucifixion of Jesus in the movie “Son of God.”
    I find it so humbling to think that God loves us so much He made the ultimate sacrifice for us.

    Your post gives great perspective. Thank you.

    He is risen!!
    Mark Gazzilli recently posted…Pain as a gift: The Husband guest postsMy Profile

  2. Amen! It’s a good reminder to us too, that we can use our pain as a gift, in offering our suffering for the good of others.

    And now I totally want to get my husband to guest post 😉
    Rosie recently posted…Regina Caeli – Latin Chant for ToddlersMy Profile

  3. Hi!~ How are you?
    We are nice. we really miss you^^see you soon.

  4. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I especially liked it when you said, “Pain that is not transformed into a gift is transmitted into the world.” What an important reminder that we have the option to use our pain as an opportunity for us to grow and learn and to bring love to the world with Jesus’ help, or we can allow it to consume us and everyone around us.
    Jennifer @ Little Silly Goose recently posted…New house, baby on the way, and no job… uh ohMy Profile


  1. […] you thought I was joking when I said Kevin’s blog post was going to put me out of business?  I actually was, but it turns out I’ve also just been sitting with that blog post for all […]